The recently announced engagement of Prince William and Kate Middleton brought a frenzy of media attention. Immediate speculation on Kate’s wedding gown and comparisons to Prince William’s mom, Princess Diana abounded. Kate is even wearing Diana’s million-dollar engagement ring.

But there the comparison should end. Why? Because unlike Diana in 1981, Kate is already living with Prince William. Sex is no big deal—so what’s the big deal about getting married? Why should a big wedding celebration matter?

I was a newlywed when Princess Diana got married to Prince Charles. The world went crazy with this storybook romance. We followed her every move from engagement to the horse-drawn carriage that brought her to the church on the day of her wedding.

Diana represented what our desperate culture was seeking. She was beautiful and innocent. Truly innocent. Diana, unlike Charles, was a virgin—and it even had to be verified for the royal pedigree. Charles, the future King of England, could not be married to someone who’d slept around—even once. I seriously doubt that is even an issue with Kate. Times have changed.

It seems as though it’s no big deal to live together—or to break up and try again with someone else. It makes me wonder why we bother going through the legal hassle of getting married.

Statistics indicate that far fewer couples are willing to commit to all that marriage entails. No longer is there a stigma attached to living together as there once was.

We may have finally reached a point where marriage is something that we’ll only read about in storybooks. But there’s a glimmer of hope: those just entering adulthood, still see marriage as something to reach for. I hope they do. I’ve been with my best friend for over 30 years. There are some things that living together will never provide, but those who don’t choose to get married won’t find out what it is.